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Ask what? not why? when kids act up

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‘WHY.............?’ ‘Why on earth did you do that?’   Most of us have said this to our kids at some stage.   They hurt a sibling and we say, ‘Why?’   They argue and fight at the mealtable and we say, ‘Why?’   They deliberately come home from an outing later than agreed and we say, ‘Why?’   This is a natural reaction. But often kids can’t articulate why they have done the wrong thing. Boys, in particular, will usually reply, ‘I dunno.’ They know something isn’t right, but articulating it is another matter.   Besides, asking why is pointless.    Even if they give you a reason for their poor behaviour (‘cos she hit me first’, ‘I’m not hungry anyway’, ‘I was late because I lost track of time’...(sign-up as a member to continue reading this article)

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